Thursday, October 15, 2009
Hush..
A bit more.. yea its just a little bit more.
I wont be blogging here right now at this time.
Perhaps I should be lying in hospital already.
Gladly, Mummy & Jiejie saved me. If not because of them, I reckon I might not be able to survive through.
Been so long since I last panted so hard. Its just like breathing rapidly in short gasps and give off loud puffs,
plus having difficulties breathing properly.
Other than that, my brain, my hands, my entire body.. went numb. I felt rather scary.
Imagine yourself emotionally unresponsive. You want to do smth, grab smth, but you dont have the energy to do so.
Tears running down my cheek like tap water.
For the first time in my life, looking myself into the mirror. I saw someone with fair skin. No, not fair. Is white. Pure white.
With red sored bloody eyes staring to herself into the mirror. Thats me.
Without hesitate, using my palm to feel my cheek to make sure I does not feel any icy texture.
Panted for about 30 mins.. I thought I going to die like this. Sucha terrible feeling. And the feeling is unbearable.
Later on, Mummy told me is because I panted too hard & lack of oxygen.
She even told me that, worse come to worst, after panting v hard, I might get stroke and become a vegetable.
A person who is so severely impaired mentally or physically as to be largely incapable of conscious responses or activity.
Sigh. So scary la..
I'm so glad.. so glad that Mummy&Jiejie saved me. They are the one who calm me down.
Especially Mummy. She'll forever be the best :)
Your apology is my medicine. Thank you.